Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Bluemoon






Last night I awoke around 3 am from a dream so visually intense it caused me to wake.  

 Before falling asleep, I fully intended to do some blanket moon gazing, but having a fever, myself, and caring for sick kids all day led to my passing out with my littlest, missing the full moon but dreaming the night away.

I dreamt I was in my kitchen pouring a glass of water.  Lightening began to flash, drawing my attention through the kitchen window.  I was gazing out and awaiting the thunder when the clouds parted, revealing the full moon, perfectly situated in the window's small frame.  I then noticed a painterly blonde woman opening a gate (one which doesn't actually exist in waking life) in my neighbor's yard.  All of the moonlight was fixed on her for a moment.  As she looked up to the sky, my own gaze went back to the moon again. Only now I could see into it with such crazy detail and became so excited by it that I woke up.  

Only after trying to get back to sleep for a bit did I think to actually get up from bed to see if the moon was in fact passing by the kitchen.  Not knowing the time yet, I groggily went to my kitchen window and there was the moon, perfectly situated within it, almost as picturesque as it was in my dream!  I stood there in massive awe for a while before returning to bed, thankful for a second chance to enjoy the blue moon.

Name smoosh, Bluemoon, is one i've never considered before.  After last night, I'm definitely feeling it.  Of course, I'd pair it with something traditional, but the wild amongst you may like to play it up with something equally daring. 

Speaking of meaningful moons, I'm loving Lauren's thoughtful moon posts  - scary spot on they are! 



image - painting by Peter Alexander 

4 comments:

  1. oooooooo! love this dream! i love when the veil between dream life and awake life gets thin like this!
    what do you think your dream meant? who do you think the woman represents?

    xL

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    1. you know, I originally wrote a bit about the meaning I took away from the dream, but deleted it b/c I can't yet get at it concisely. But since dreams are a favorite topic and you asked...

      I see the girl in several lights - most significant to what I'm grappling with this week is that she provided *permission* to go deeper - to share more, trust more, see more. I still struggle with needing to get that permission from an outside source sometimes, but ultimately she was me. The light was shining on her, she was passing through a gate (transformation, transcendence, unblocking) and when I followed her gaze back to the moon, I could see it deeper than before, in more dimension, clearer, larger. and yet I still needed that projection of her as something outside myself to gain that vision, even as I noticed how very unreal she looked- almost looked like paint.

      The larger meaning (or maybe meta-meaning) that I'm taking away is more from what happened after the dream - that I got out of my bed and looked for the moon. and totally expected to find it there. I knew. I trusted. And I accepted all of this without rationalizing it to death. The rationalizations still appear - "my sleeping body was able to perceive light through my eyelids, my body knew the time, my sleeping brain did calculations to know where the moon would be and my mind was on the moon a lot before sleep" - but there's a duality to these reasonings. explanations like these can be true (and amazingly mind blowing), but they aren't *whole*. they are but one facet . I'm really grappling with that duality lately - that I can have my hyper rational side (or whatever other side) without repressing it but without allowing it to convince me that it's the whole story. looking back I see that i go through periods of either totally repressing the hyper rational side or allowing it to completely rule to the exclusion of all else. this is the beginning of my bringing it all in under one sun ( or moon) so I can really shift.

      But beyond how i employ the dream to help with psychological-spiritual struggles, I think it was saying "Kristen! Get up, go enjoy the moon!"


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    2. hahaha! i love this!!! :)))))
      so many levels...

      when i was reading it i too thought the woman was a part of you, and love the awareness you brought to what she represents, her being that part of you that needs to get more comfortable with shining brightly, being seen in the world, or by others. and also what permission from others does for you, that it allows you to go deeper, see more, be greater! i hope that you can start to find that permission in yourself.
      i struggle with this too... validation... but little by little as i start to trust myself, and make little victories and triumphs by doing so it grows and i care less and less about other people giving me permission.
      so many amazing things can happen when we start to trust ourselves!!! thank you for writing this, i needed that reminder myself. it's a lesson that has been knocking loud these last weeks.

      i love dreams!!!! i love talking about dreams!!! thanks for sharing!!!
      :)
      xxL

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  2. ps - thanks for the moon shout out ;) xoxoxoxoxo

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